This Friday is Australia Day and that excites me. There
may be some people reading this to whom this is news so I
guess I had better explain the significance of this
celebration to them. A couple of hundred years ago a
bunch of people fell off a boat and decided that this
country was theirs and that they would set up shop.
The fact that people had already set up shop here was
ignored because they didn't have muskets or a
conservative fiscal policy and so Australia Day was born.
Celebrations include fireworks, barbecues, citizenship ceremonies and — the one thing that stops a nation — a speech from our prime minister.
Throughout the land little children will be filled with joy as their loving hearts swell with pride for their country and crowds will spontaneously gather on footpaths to wave little flags and cheer and swap stories about civic duty and national fervour.
As I say, Australia Day excites me. I shall be wearing an Akubra and Blundstones. I shall be wearing Stubbies and a blue singlet. I shall be singing in joyful strains about waltzing Matildas and how women glow and men plunder. I shall be draped in the flag of the southern cross, our beloved federation star and the union jack. Oh I am so thrilled to have our colonial subservience to our Queen (I did but see her passing by but I shall love her till I die) acknowledged so prominently. I shall be dodging canetoads and making racist comments. I shall be eating damper and pavlova. I shall be planting banksias and dying of thirst in a desert. I shall be winning gold medals in swimming and beach volleyball. I shall be getting eaten by sharks and stung by stingrays. I shall be mining uranium with my hand over my heart, crying “Australia, it is to you I give my fidelity. To you I give my faith. Oh, fair homeland, accept my humble praise.”
And so thank heavens we are celebrating Australia Day. Otherwise I would forget that part.
¶ 8:40 am
"Bloody oath" is exactly what's great about this country.
I'm reminded of this:
On seeing Indian migrants moving into their street:
"My grandmother had a funny look in her eyes. I think it is cataracts, but my mother says is jingoism".
- Adrian Mole
Harpo: was there a spot the unAustralian in that sentence, because I'm pretty sure we're all suppposed to hate Blundstones now. That is, if we have any sense of civic pride.
I love this country, but that concert really did make me wonder if it loves me back.
IN Craig, I don't know if you really should be equating television programming with Australian culture. Particularly Channel 10's. Is the channel that brought you The Biggest Loser, The NBL and Angela Bishop truly the guide to what is Australian? I shudder. Perhaps Channel 10 loves us but we don't have to love it back.
But your test sounds much more likely, M.
And Angela Bishop actually is pretty damn Australian, and frankly has done well for herself considering her disadvantaged upbringing.
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