Having strained my voice on the weekend I am trying to
recover by speaking as little as possible.
People come up to me at work and say “Yo ma homey ma homey yo dope punk da Harpmeister.” Yes this is exactly how we talk in the office “Yo da H-man yo ma Marx bro ma homey ma homey etcetera. Yo lay down some o dat mad phat linked list library shee-yit on me ma homey ma homey. Word.”
And I would like to reply “excuse me, there is no longer any requirement for a linked list library as I can just instanciate some objects and store them in a Vector. To rewrite such functionality would be a waste of everybody's time and I need to finish this GUI I'm working on by EOB tomorrow.”
But I'm trying to speak as little as possible so I say “sure.”
People stop me on the street and say “Prithee stay young ruffian. Whither thou on such a blustery and foreboding post-prandial hour? Dost thou not espy a loathsome tempest upon the lowering horizon? Get ye within yonder taproom and 'scape the fearsome bluster.”
I usually reply, when stopped in this way, “I wouldn't go in that pub if lightning was setting my clothing alight and the path to it was strewn with gold. And more than that, nobody ever spoke in that stupid ‘prithee’ way. ‘Whither thou’ for God's sake! Leave me alone. Freak.”
But no, rest is vital for a strained voice so I
reply “yep. Thanks.”
It's all about drinking lots of warm water, avoiding dairy
and being extremely compliant.
Whatevs. Does it have to be warm water? Why not a healthsome ale?
I hope you're better soon, Harpo.
Example:
Robert: Awa' Whigs, awa'! Awa' Whigs, awa'! Ye're but a pack o' traitor louns, Ye'll do nae gude at a'.
Harpo: *honk* *honk*
: 20/8/07 09:02Two superb suggestions. Thank you both Meva and Westy.
The tip about the beer is a cracker and I tried that assiduously over the weekend. I'm pleased to announce the experiment a roaring success. Hurrah. (didn't really help the throat: alcohol acts to dry out the vocal folds which is bad for the voice — hence the warm water — but I was much cheerier about things after the beer)
But I've no idea why I didn't think of the bicycle horn. That should have come to me straight away: that and mime are the only forms of communication anybody should need.
Robert Burns may have been better off with just mime and a horn.
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